Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
