If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
