The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
