i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
we should paint friendship bongs
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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