hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize