is your mom at the bar?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just want to make out with him forever
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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