...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
