I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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