You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
