I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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