you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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