It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
