Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Come back. Shots need mouths.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
