We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
