we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
