I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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