All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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