i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
