He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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