I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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