I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How does one acquire holy water?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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