And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
