Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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