We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
