Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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