Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
