My first STD was from a foam party
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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