Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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