Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
