trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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