One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
