He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
