people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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