Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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