maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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