Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize