If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
