guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
