I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
