oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
