before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
