I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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