Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
