the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
