She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
