I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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