i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
