Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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