All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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