Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
