woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
