when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I can text with my tongue
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Never joke about your clitoris.
I party with great urgency now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize