By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
