So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
