I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
