he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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