I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
