Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
