it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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