I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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