Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
