She is in my trunk
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
