Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
