i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
