had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
