I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Let's get the cat blown out
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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