hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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